More Better Writing Advice

A sampling of my bestest writing advice.

With so many people offering writing tips on Medium, I thought I’d give it a shot.

1. Write Good.
2. With each new story, write Gooder.
3. Don’t use cliches and you will live happily ever after.
4. Heartily avoid adverbs.
5. Don’t rely, depend on, trust, pin one’s hopes on, commit to, swear by or bank on a thesaurus.
6. Avoid distractions while writing especially when writing while watching the Super Bowl.
7. Don’t make lists.
8. Avoid Run-On sentences because you will lose the reader’s attention since most readers have short attention spans particularly younger readers since they like to read on devices with small screens making it hard to see the words especially polysyllabic words that shouldn’t be used anyway because they make the writer seem as if he’s bragging about his vocabulary.
9. Always be original in your writing especially when plagiarizing.
10. Never fucking use profanity in your writing.
11. Use spell chek with every story.
12. Write what you know. If you know nothing, offer writing tips.
13. Never end a sentence with a preposition or something like it.
14. Writers should read books or at least see…