Member-only story
New Apps for 2023
The geniuses at Silicon Valley have done fantastic work making our lives more efficient. Not only have they eliminated annoying brick and mortar outlets like book stores, record stores and movie theaters, they’ve helped put an end to unnecessary industries like taxi companies, affordable apartments and know-it-all newspaper chains. It’s exciting to report that this wonderful spirit of disruption will continue this year. Here are some great new apps for 2023.
AirPeeNPee — People already rent out their homes, swimming pools and cars. Why not use the same technology to rent your crapper to someone in need? Payments are on a three-tiered system: urination is cheapest, defecation more costly and vomiting the most exorbitant of all. AirPeeNPee allows you to make that extra toilet a gold mine.
Bum-Sniffing Dogs — Local and state governments have no solution for rampant homelessness. It’s time to take this problem into our own hands. This service allows residents to rent out bum-sniffing dogs so the housed community no longer have to encounter vagrants. Each dog has been trained to sniff out unwanted derelicts sleeping or loitering outside your home. Dogs bark when a transient is found. You then have the option of blowing one of two dog whistles to trigger the animal into action. Whistle #1 instructs the dog to growl loudly until the itinerant leaves. Whistle #2 triggers the dog to bite the…